Being with God is a nondual state. This means it can never be achieved by choosing only one side of reality in reaction to a less preferred condition or state.
Words like awakening are necessary evils. They open a path to thinking about things, but they block the road, even as they point the way. They make us think there is a special way- that being with God or being awakened is a special feature we need to recapture again and again. But God is kinder than that and makes everyplace the way home. Every molecule of reality- whether tangible, like matter, or emotional and psychological, like varied states of being- can be the gateway to the nondual experience of God.
Try this: Whatever you are feeling right now has a silent opposite that is present at the same time. So, confusion is present with its opposite understanding; lost accompanies found. Hope is present with despair and loneliness with companionship, even though there may be no one around to fulfill that function.
Now: Allow both pair of opposites to exist. Completely. Vividly. Open your body to this allowing. You may notice a subtle feeling of openness, or silence, of expectation without a goal. This is one of the million gateways to God; it comes from being with what is in this particular way. Trust this opening, Friend. You can extend it further, to opposites that are more challenging, like sickness and health and even life and death. As you do so, the doorway to God will open wider, as wide as your heart.
Jason Shulman pg. 56-57 The Instruction Manual For Receiving God
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