The ego personality, even while completely desiring and longing for freedom, resists moving toward it, because it fears its own annihilation.
Dear Reader: Do you sometimes feel like no matter how hard you try, you do not make the sort of progress you would like on your spiritual path? What is that? Do you lack something? Some genius for change? Were you wounded too deeply in childhood to receive your life’s dream, to be with God, to awaken?
Please note: There is an active force that holds you back! The same part of you that searches also looks longingly backwards toward your own imprisonment. This is not a theory. It is a fact. Everything that lives has a force within it that makes it want to keep on living in the same way it has always lived. Your small self fears this new, unknown land you are trying to enter and actively seeks sanctuary in limitation- the very limitation you are trying to escape!
So don’t escape. Stop trying so hard. Open your mind and heart to this part that cannot go forward and cannot go back. See its dilemma. If you do that, you will begin to notice a form of spiritual progress you never dreamed about. You will begin to come alive.
The Instruction Manual for Receiving God by Jason Shulman; Page 25